Just For Teens

Most people look forward to relationships that feature respect, open communication, and trust. These healthy relationships might include respect for differing beliefs, open communication about feelings, and trust that each person can rely on the other. They also relate to sexual behavior.

We all need to respect the limits that our partners set (i.e. "NO" means "NO"). We should work to communicate openly about what we do and don't like sexually. And above all, we need to feel we can trust our partners.

Sexually healthy relationships are honest, respectful, responsible, and equitable. That means that partners don't pressure each other to go against their personal values. It also means that they communicate openly about their feelings.

Healthy relationships involve people who decide together how they will take responsibility for their relationships - and for the outcomes of the sexual decisions they make.

Unfortunately, not all relationships are healthy. Some people force others to have sexual intercourse or perform sexual acts against their will. These types of relationships are unhealthy for both partners, and are examples of sexual abuse.

Sexual abuse includes unwanted touching, fondling, watching and talking, and being forced to look at another person's sex organs. It's not limited to forcing someone to have sexual intercourse. While the majority of reported sexual abusers have been male, sexual abusers can be women or men. Often sexual abusers are people the victim knows. They may be friends, or even family members.

When someone is forced to have sexual intercourse, it's called rape. If a husband forces his wife to have intercourse, it's called marital rape. If a friend, date, lover, or partner forces another person to have intercourse, it's called acquaintance or "date" rape. Sexual activity among "blood-related" family members is called incest.

These are all serious crimes that are punishable under law. Even so, these crimes are often seriously underreported because the survivors feel too embarrassed or ashamed to talk about what happened to them. They sometimes can feel - and are sometimes made to feel - as if it was their fault that they were raped or abused.

The idea of sexual abuse can be very confusing. We've all been told to respect adults, and to do what a parent or other family member tells us to do. But no one ever has the right to touch another person or make that person do something sexually without his or her permission - no matter who it is.

Survivors of sexual abuse are not responsible for what happened to them. While the abuse may be difficult to talk about, anyone who has been sexually abused should be encouraged to talk about it with a trusted parent, friend, teacher, counselor, or clergy member, who may be able to help stop the abuse.

For more information, go to Rape Crisis Services of Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/Syracuse Region.

See also

The Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN)

Or call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453